Marilyn Manson Saves Christmas
by Ghettoprincessfromthehood
Summary: When Santa Claus goes missing, everybody blames Marilyn Manson. With a mysterious leaugue of artists attacking Manson, can he over come enemies such as Yoko Ono and Criss Angel, to rescuing santa and being able to rock at Jesus' birthday party to prevent Rapture?


Chapter 1: One Twenty One Guns

The air was brisk, the night was lively, the New York wind wailed a tune of despair. The crowds were savage being held on what seemed like a string. The tension was high, the world was on the verge of tipping over, until an A chord broke the room. The cheers from the crowd harmonized as Marilyn Manson ascended to the stage. He dare not look at the crowd quite yet, he cusped a few words "Sweet dreams are made of this" that alone was enough to electrify the crowds hearts and bound their souls to the sweet sorrow that was Manson's voice. Just as Manson was climbing to the peak of the song, it all came crashing down. As he climbed the twin pistol prop it went loose and fell on top of him. Gasps were heard screams were shared and a veil of black filled the stage.

It was black, like floating through an endless void, Marilyn slowly opened his eyes only to see nothing. His skin peeled from the intense cold, and he could feel every atom in his body slowly being torn apart from one another. Marilyn looked around and said "man I should get an apartment down here." Suddenly a bright orb caressed the darkness and an entity manifested from the light. Long slender bright locks dispersed and illuminated the room and round glasses solidified the entity, it was Ozzy Osbourne. Marilyn looked confused at the entity, and distant chants of 'Ozzy…." filled the room. Ozzy looked Manson dead in the eye and said "You managed to kill yourself you stupid Bugger; one day it's fucking metal the next your riding Death's dick mate." Manson replies " Oh shit it's Ozzy, what are you doing here?" Ozzy turns away from Manson and says " Who do you think is the fucking Messiah of Rock, the God of Metal, I can twiddle strings harder than I can twiddle ya girl." Manson replies, "Yeah but what are you doing here, now, if im dead." Ozzy extends his finger and states "Look Manson, you have a bloody brilliant power inside of you, but something terrible is coming your way, you're not dead yet, but try not to die any time soon, otherwise the world is gonna be in some deep shit, heavier shits than Sharon could ever give me." Manson looks confused but dared to ask "What do you mean, what's going to happen?" Ozzy quickly replied "Look man I don't have the fucking time to explain everything right now, just know youre the one, now get the fuck out of here." Ozzy snaps his fingers and Manson is treated to a surreal light show through a tunnel of endless visions.

Manson wakes up to a hospital room, alone, hungry, and season 47 episode 4 of Sesame Street playing on the TV. Manson feels a burning hand grab his heart but dismisses it as heartburn, hes injured but won't cancel his tour, his final booking was in Nazareth, to jam out as Jesus' birthday extravaganza and had to be on schedule. Manson heard scratching and looked towards the window. In the glass he saw the cracks spell out "U","R". Manson rubbed his eyes and the final letters appeared "GAY". Obviously this was a threat and Manson merely melted the window with his fire breathe, he couldn't have threats mess up his aura.

Manson spent a week in the hospital and as he checked out a wispy cackle invaded his ear. He didn't mind, it helped him block out the sea monkeys living in his head. As Manson walked down the streets of New York he saw the sidewalks decorated with blood, the walls oozing grease, the dwellers bitter and disfigured a typical normal New York day. Though something was off, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Oh well there was no time to worry he had to get back on schedule. As Manson walked down the street a tall dark figure lurked behind and cackled as it followed Manson. Truly something evil had found Marilyn Manson.

Marilyn Manson continued his stroll but he felt the air getting colder, his breathing was getting smothered it was like actually breathing the New York smog. Marilyn's ears began to ring as he heard a deadly siren from the distance, he collapsed on the floor trying to block out the sound as much as he could. The sound stopped; he slowly opened his eyes only to see a pair of feet, as he slowly looked up, it was Yoko-Ono. Not a single word was exchanged, their eyes were locked on to one another. Marilyn Manson quickly swiped at Yoko-Ono; she darted back and started to prepare for another howling screech. Manson quickly got up and started sprinting towards her. Yoko-Ono let out a high pitched howl shattering the surrounding glass and piercing Manson's back. In that moment Manson knew that he couldn't beat her physically, but had a chance with the power of rock. Yoko-Ono bent backwards ready to let put a screech so powerful it would break the sound barrier, Manson on the other hand raised his filthy palm to heaven and a bolt of lightning struck him. In his hand was an Airline _MAP Baritone DLX _ready to slice through Yoko-Ono's sound waves. Not a single noise could be heard, until it hit, Yoko-Ono let out a howl of a million imprisoned souls, but Manson quickly countered with the screech of his guitar, creating a sound hole at the center of the wave collision when it suddenly burst. Yoko-ono, slowly fell back her ears oozing crimson liquid, and she began to gently weep. Manson stood above her, and she pierced him with her sight. She couldn't speak, all she could do it mouth a few words. Manso pulled his guitar back, ready to serve her head with it, when she gained the strength to utter "J-John." Manson looked at her in disgust, and Yoko-Ono turned away and muttered, "En-en-end is coming-i-ing." Then she let out a wicked laugh, but it didn't sound like her, in fact it wasn't her, something was taking a hold of her and she suddenly bursts into flames, a distorted voice echoed through the fire. It said "you will never find him or them."

Chapter 2:Two of us

Marilyn Manson laid to rest in his Marilyn Mansion, his power was weak and he needed to channel his dark energy. Manson reached for his mail drawer and pulled out an envelope from Hot Topic, he needed the sales money from suicidal pre teens. When Manson glanced at the balance, it was only $37.80 he felt his face grow a paler tint of white beyond human comprehension without fans he had no power. Manson couldn't understand why his royalty check was so empty; a loud crash was heard from downstairs. Marilyn Manson crept downstairs only to find a mob of angry people. This was normal of course but he noticed something was off, they did not bring their children. The crowd shouted at Marilyn Manson, they said "Our children are gone and it's all your fault!" Manson replied "What do you mean, what did I do?" One mother with clapping thunder thighs and hair as short as Mariah Carreys career said " your hateful music taught them hate and they hated themselves out of this world!" Ofcourse this was completely ridiculous but no matter how much Manson explained to them how irresponsible and stupid they were being he was still charged and had trial pending.

On the day of the court case, Marilyn Manson was repeatedly slammed with accusations and false evidence about a crime he never committed. Though Manson did not give up hope, he thought to himself "If OJ can get away with murder than surely I can get out of this too." Manson was called to the stand, and was asked to plea anything in his defense. Marilyn Manson look around then he looked down. The courtroom grew cold, a strange fog enveloped Manson and daylight went dark. A blood moon peeked through the veil of darkness and illuminated Marilyn Manson. In a soft but deep voice Manson began to sing " In our times of need, we plant a hateful seed, it's not me can't you see, I need to be free."

Light returned to the room, it was silent and everyone could only stare. The judge felt his joints loose, his chest was heavy, his knuckles blushed, and tears began to roll down his face. Everyone in the crowd joined in as the weeping howls of people echoed through the room. The jury stood up and said, "without meeting we can all certainly say children come and go, and we can forgive you, innocent or guilty, you are free. All charges were dropped and Marilyn Manson was free, just as things were wrapping up, a reindeer crashed through the court window and killed an old woman on impact. On the reindeer antler was a note saying " Marilyn Manson made Santa Clause hate himself out of the world." The crowd gasped ad threw an uproar, thunder thighs shouted "it's one thing to have taken our children, for that we can forgive you, but kidnapping santa is crossing the line you walking emo clown!" Just as the crowd started to surround Manson he had no choice but to use his last resort. Marilyn Manson raised his hand and using whatever power he had left created a shadow portal to escape the courtroom. Marilyn Manson had fled and now only had $37.80 worth of power left, he's a wanted man and had to clear his name, he had to find Santa and the children, before he truly reverted to nothing and miss the biggest gig of his life.

Marilyn Manson hid out in the back of an Arby's , he couldn't be seen in public and he knew nobody would find him there. He thought to himself, who could possibly be doing this, who would want to slander him, who had the power to even make Santa and the children disappear. Marilyn Manson spent hours trying to think if someone like that existed, and then his head started to ache. Then it actually hit him, Manson said "headache, headache, head , mind, mind freaked…" Marilyn Manson had a potential lead, he we set way t find the only magic user he knew was strong enough to pull this crime off.

The streets of vegas, a cluster of stars in a sea of black. Sin spewing through every crack, rumors riding on the wind, this was the place where Marilyn Manson would find him; the Mind Freaker. It could be days before Manson could find him maybe even weeks, betting on years, or maybe just a couple of minutes at the Luxor Hotel. Manson absorbed $10 of his woe energy and approached the Hotel, it was time to get some answers. Manson walked in, the air was thick and it wasn't just the second hand smoke, his ears began to ring, and voice echoed "Freak..Freak..Freak.." Manson prepared himself for what may come, and an entity appeared behind him, and whispered into his ear, "open your mind." Manson through a backwards punch but no one was there. A voice kept bouncing through the halls it said "You can not see if you don't believe." Manson had to retreat outside he couldn't afford to waste his power right now.

Manson managed to make it outside but he was out of the frying pan and into the fire. A flying black smoke emerges from the Luxor Hotel. It darts past Manson, it slits his palm. It lunges back at him and grazes his cheek. This was bad, if Manson couldn't find a way to defend himself, he could be killed. Marilyn Manson closed his eyes, he transcended into an astrological state of mind, with that he extended his finger and pointed in front of him, his finger nail grew long and sharp, then he quickly pointed down and heard a pop.

Marilyn Manson opened his eyes and saw the Mind Freaker on the floor in a small pool of blood, Marilyn Manson had popped his boob. The Mind Freaker looks at Manson and grinning a grin puts his hand over his own chest and instantly heals his boob. The Mind Freaker raised his arms and began to levitate, rain began to fall despite there not being a cloud in site, the ground began to shake and the Mind Freaker said "I am Criss Angel and I know why you're here; get ready to have your mind freaked."

Chapter 3: You and Me and the Devil makes Three

Marilyn Manson opened his eyes only to find himself in a run down highschool hallway, typical for an american school. He found himself in a younger state he was no longer Marilyn Manson but rather Brian Warner. Brian walked down the hallway as tall black humanoid figures adorned in severed hands whisper to one another. Their words are unclear they just sound like wispy air, grinding teeth, and a cynical laughter that echoed in the hall. The sounds began to jump off the walls inside Brian Warner's head. Brian's vision grew white as he rushed faster through the hall but it kept going, the end of the hall was unclear, the whispers grew louder. Brian began to grow angry, a pent up feeling of desperation, but not a single sound could escape his mouth. Finally a door, another room anywhere would be better than hell hall, even if the other room was just an empty stall.

Upon dashing through the doors Brian Warner found himself in a macabre theatre. All the seats were occupied by dried out corpses. Except one seat, it was practically calling to Brian, it drew him close, and without realizing it, he took a seat. He was restrained, something inside him wouldn't let him get away. The curtains opened, on the stage lied Criss Angel, in a spiky red leather suit, it sparkled against the stage lights. Criss Angel lifted his finger and pointed at Brian, Criss suddenly appeared behind Brian and whispered "can you hear them?" Brian couldn't look back all he could see was Criss Angel on stage, an unwinding noise began to fill the room, Brian's lungs felt like they were being filled with needles. Criss Angel began to levitate and approached Brian, he took a strand of hair and with a flick of his finger turned it into a microphone. He said "Do you have something to say Brian?... No?.. That's too bad!" Brian wanted to shout but something wouldn't let him.

Criss Angel floated back onto the stage, he flicked his finger and dimmed the lights, he drew close to the microphone and began to sing:

_Are you ready? Are you ready?_

_Living through your pain? _

_Can you see his face?_

_The one who took your innocence, his lust pushes you_

_What will you do? What will you do? _

_Nothing because I am _

_THE MIND FREAK_

_And there is no reality for me, only freaks_

_Don't think about it, just do it_

Brian looked down at his filthy palms and saw a revolver, Criss Angel drew closer and grazed his face with a nine inch nail and said "Let me help you, he took Brian's hand and moved it to where the Gun was placed against Brian's head. Silence filled the theatre, Brian clenched the trigger, and lips began to move, he muttered "Fuck You" and shot the nail at Criss Angel. The Nail went through Criss Angel, and Criss Angel said "This is impossible how can you speak" Brian replied "Shut the fuck up and suck on my meat." Brian slicked his hair back, he took the blood from his cheek wound and colored his lips, he approached Criss Angel onto the stage and said "Ho Ho Ho bitch" Criss looked distress but began to Grin and said "This is my reality and you're just an itch, i'll get off without a hitch. Brian took the microphone and said "Im Marilyn Manson you wannabe Hot Topic poster child, you'll be lucky if you survive my cock, you ass will be dust, your nostrils will errupt, your guts will be rearranged because I fuck reality."

Marilyn Manson was back he clasped Criss Angel's face and said "You can't fuck with me because my reality is my Hell." Criss Angel didn't understand how could Manson have control in his world, what was going on. Marilyn glanced at him and said "It's because I got no soul." Criss Angel only looked more shocked how did Marilyn Manson know what he was thinking. Marilyn Manson took one long stare at Criss and said "Let me show you what real fear looks like, gaze into my one dead eye."

Criss Angel's Mind Freak world dissolved, they were both back outside of the hotel, Criss looked around confused and said "What, what is it, what's so scary." Marilyn looked up and replied "This is reality and you can't escape from it." Criss chuckled and began to yell "That's it!? That's your genius way to freak my mind!? You've gotta be joking!" Marilyn Manson stood quiet. Criss Angel grew angry and began to sprint towards Manson, ready to kill him once and for all! Manson looked up and said "You look dumb." Criss' heart suddenly grew heavier, his lungs felt like they were collapsing, he began to slow down and on the ground he gently weeps. Marilyn goes up to Criss and says "That's reality, you're ugly and no amount of magic can fix that." Criss muttered "Please end this, you win, you freaked my mind." Manson simply replied, "Like I said this is reality I didn't cast any illusion." Criss Angel looked up in tears and said "If this is reality then I have been doing things wrong" and then the hell frozen rain began to fall. The next day Marilyn and Criss met up in front of the Nevada Military deployment, Criss gleefully said to Manson "I've decided to use my powers to fight ISIS, no longer will I use them for my own gain." Marilyn replied "That's great and all but I need to as-" Criss interrupted him and said "I already know, here take this and save Christmas. Criss handed Manson a magic compass that pointed to who he was looking for, a step closer to the truth.

Chapter 4: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

The first snowflake of November falls, tainting the air and engulfing Marilyn Manson in a cold embrace. The further Marilyn Manson followed the compass the colder he would grow. It was at this point Marilyn Manson absorbed another 10$ and with his power opened a crack in the ground. Through the crack, flames spiraled through and a boney harped emerged from the ground. Marilyn Manson grew out his sharp fingernail and began to play the hell born harp. Each string played a different scream and moan from Hell and Marilyn Manson played a tune that illuminated the sky. A great fireball crashed and strook the ground and within it was the Vespa from Hell. Why summoning the Vespa was convoluted, no one truly knew, not even Manson himself, perhaps the Devil was just a dick. Now with only $17.10 on hand, and the flames from Hell following, Manson follows the compass to the source to whatever reason, for Marilyn Manson had forgotten.

Marilyn Manson's forehead grew cold he couldn't remember why he was following the compass, he couldn't remember why he was in financial trouble, he could not even remember how he got there. Manson's compass suddenly broke, from the freezing temperature, but Manson had reached his destination, a large cathedral, bursting with ice spikes. Manson revved up the motor of his Vespa and with hellfire burst through the door. The inside of the Cathedral was warm, Hymns could be heard in the distance, stained glass light created a radiant lighting inside the cathedral. Despite the freezing weather outside flowers lived inside the cathedral and grew thicker by the main altar. Sitting on this altar was a weeping woman of white. Marilyn Manson approached the woman, and the Hymns silenced, the weeping woman stopped, and a bone chilling cackled followed.

The woman was a slender, boney, tall, and pale figure. She looked down on Marilyn Manson and said "I know why you are here." That sounded familiar to Manson, he then suddenly remembered and uttered "Santa." He forgotten why he was even doing this bullshit and remembered Santa, and Jesus Christ. The Woman with a smug grin said, "I have him… if you want him you have to retrieve 7 treasures" Marilyn Manson quickly replied "Fuck you, Fuck that, give me the holly jolly red bastard and go fuck yourself." Marilyn Manson absorbs another $10 and whips his head back and forth and from his hair he pulls out a katana. The Woman laughed and said "You can not kill me, I am already dead, I am…. A lesbian from the past." Marilyn Manson simply said, "Get scissored in Hell." The past Lesbian raised her hands and protected herself in a barrier of ice. Marilyn Manson's blade could not pierce the Ice, he then went to his Vespa and attempted to melt the ice with the flames of Hell, but to no avail. The past lesbian, speaks through the ice and says "your heart is stained black like mine, you are no longer worthy of my quest." The Past Lesbian them whistles a tune and a pod on the Cathedral ceiling births a creature.

The Past Lesbian crouches down and through the ice, stretches it like ruber and touches the creature, birthing it in ice made clothes and makes it stand. The Creature had velvety skin, it's hair was like multiple whips, it was beautiful but deadly, ice spikes adorned every hair end. It turned around, and stared Manson down, and it said, "M-my name is W-willow." Suddenly the cathedral grew dark and neon lights crossed each other and a large magenta light shined down on willow. She whipped her hair one way, then she whipped it the other, back and forth and suddenly she whipped her hair towards Marilyn Manson and shattered his blade. This was no ordinary enemy, Marilyn Manson began to worry for once.

Marilyn Manson could not afford to waste his last 7$, he hightailed it to his Vespa and charged at Willow. She whipped her hair, Manson jumped from the Vespa as she slit it with her hair. Manson had to get close but her wicked weave was a challenge. Manson grew his claws out and charged at Willow, his claws grinded against her hair, creating a sea of sparks. Willow pulled her hair back and lunged a heavy attack against Marilyn Manson. Willow severed Manson's right arm off. Manson was bleeding out pretty bad and he knew he had no other choice, he absorbed the last of his money and proceeded to grow another arm. Willow was growing impatient, she whipped her hair back and forth like a helicopter and proceeded to ascend. Upon seeing this Manson got an idea, as Willow lunged at him for the final blow, Manson used every ounce of his power left and began to chant a summon. Willow grew closer, when all of a sudden, the ground cracked open and an entity stopped her hair with it's bare hand. Willow angrily trapped asked

" u." The entity dispelled it's shadow and said " T r e y."

Manson fell to the ground he needed time to recover after such a powerful summon, it was up to Tray to hold Willow off long enough for him to figure out how to break the Time Lesbian's icy shield. The song of a dark choir filled the cathedral room, Trey and Willow clashes shook the building, sparks flew, waves of forces pushed back dust. Then it all seemed so simple, Manson knew how to end this all. Manson quickly got up and stammered towards the Ice shield; Willow took notice and began to charge towards Marilyn Manson. Trey grabbed her hair and threw her through a stained glass window. Manson finally reached the Ice Shield, but Willow did not stop she prepared her largest attack against Manson, Trey was about to stop her when all of a sudden Manson said, " Your services are done." Trey disappeared into ash and Willow whipped her hair at Manson, he ducked right in time and Willow shattered the Ice Shield.

The shield was now broken, the Time Lesbian was weakened, Manson was powerless and Willow was shocked. Willow's hair began to freeze and cracked with every move, she began to weep and gasp, but it was too late, the blizzard inside her hair reached her head and she shattered into the air.

Manson picked up an ice shard and began to walk towards the Time Lesbian. He said to her "Where's the spherical jolly fuck, you Michael Jackson looking head ass." The Time Lesbian said nothing, and only cracked a smile, mocking Manson. Manson threw the ice shard towards her heart and ended her looked up and then he scoffed and began to walk outside the cathedral, feeling like a failure, knowing that Jesus would never vent out his frustration and thus the rapture was near. Marilyn Manson left the Cathedral, walking into the frozen wasteland never to be seen again. What Manson saw was that Santa was dead bleeding from the ceiling, the drops landing on the Time Lesbian. Santa was dead and so was the world.

Chapter 5: I've got Five on it.

It was December, Doomsday drew near and Manson was nowhere to be found. Somewhere in Nazareth Jesus Christ Began to grow more and more furious, he was tired of being nice and needed to let out his frustration but he couldn't. Jesus wouldn't talk to his dad, or Joseph. He kept Mary shut out and spent all of last years birthday gold on Hot Topic merchandise. Mary began to worry for her son and was afraid to tell him that Marilyn Manson couldn't play at his birthday bash. Too afraid to confront her son she sought out someone who could possibly mend the situation. Then the Heavens suddenly illuminated and an angel descended upon Mary and handed her a note. On it read (610) 759-8822.

Mary knew exactly what to do, she thanked the angel and headed to her yard. Mary boarded the Jesuscopter and traveled to the Vatican city. Upon arriving she was greeted and immediately escorted towards the Pontiff. Mary explained the situation and the Pontiff understood, he recited a prayer and from the Chamber's sky window descended a golden phone booth. The Pontiff stepped inside and called the number, he then proceeded to say "One MM special please, the phone replied "Coming right up." Suddenly all light left the Chamber, rain began to poor and the chamber's door opened. It was Marilyn Manson, only something was off, he was hairier, uglier and smelled like piss. It was because it wasn't Marilyn Manson at all, rather it was Charles Manson! Charles pulled a machine gun out of his hair and began to shoot at the Pontiff and Mary. They both hid behind pillars and the Pontiff told Mary, "Maria you musta travela to the pasta, and finda Marilyn Monroea, Mansona is brokena and we must complete hima. Mary looked at the pontiff and said "ma papa, e tu?" The Pontiff looked at Mary and said "Maria I donta understanda your pasta languaga, now go!" The Pontiff conjured up a portal and pushed Mary through. The Pontiff then stood up and removed his robe, underneath was armor, the Pontiff then said "I sawa thisa ina video gamea" in his right hand he held a blade of fury, and in the other a blade of judgement and began to duel Charles Manson.

Mary woke up in a luxurious home, she got up and heard music coming from upstairs. Mary followed the music and eventually came face to face with the lady of the hour herself, Marilyn Monroe. Mary stared at Monroe and then got to her knees and began to plead "

per favore, vieni con me, figlio mio ha bisogno di te." Marilyn Monroe went up to Mary and said "Sh Sh Sh, I understand but what if someone comes looking for me?" The two women stared and then decided to leave some barbiturates and a note saying "I overdosed lmao, peace out."

Mary and Monroe traveled to the present and upon arriving found the Pontiff bound to the ground and Charles Manson bleeding with the blade of fury through his chest, holding the blade of judgement, Mary took a fighting pose but Monroe calmed her down and simply smiled. Monroe approached Charles and said "You come here often?" Charles replied, "First time, what about you bitch." Monroe simply laughed and said "Yeah me too." Charles said "What's your name?" Monroe replied "Marilyn Monroe and yours?" Charles nervously replied " Charles Manson." Marilyn smiled and said "Manson huh" Charles laughed and said "Marilyn huh." The two held each other close, they began to glow, spinning in each other's arms and with a golden wind filling the room the two of them fused into something new. A being of darkness and light, he who walks at dawn and the edge of dusk. The two blades fell beside him and he said "I am Marilyn Manson."

Manson's memories flooded in and he said "What am I doing here?" Mary walked up to Manson and said "Mi piacciono molto le mele, sono buone con le pesche." With that alone Manson knew exactly what he had to do, but then he said "Santa is dead though, how can I regain my powers of rock without clearing my name?" The Pontiff slowly got up and said, "My child, you can not kill the kringle only imprison it." With that Marilyn Manson knew he had to return to the Ice Cathedral and finish off what he thought he took care of all those days ago. Manson began to walk out when Mary stopped him and gave Manson something. Manson thanked Mary and made his way to the Ice Cathedral, and in a hurry too, for Christmas was upon them and Jesus was near his breaking point. When Manson arrived at the Outer Frozen are he noticed something. A horde of ice zombies surrounded the Cathedral the Past Lesbian knew he would find out that she wasn't dead and prepared. Though little did she know, so was Manson.

Chapter 6: Got your Six

The wind howled the final tune for Manson's journey, a serenade for the fallen. Manson reached for his pocket and pulled out a piece of gold, the original gold from the Wise Men. Marilyn Manson unhinged his jar and swallowed the nugget whole. At first nothing happened, then out of nowhere his back skin began to crack. Manson's back began to fall in chunks, the snow on the ground was decorated in the red liquid and steam began to surround Manson. Breaking the tension, Marilyn Manson's spine broke out, and an entity rose from his open back wound. It was Marilyn Manson himself, reborn a new. He was dressed in a knee length red velvet santa suit, with a white spikes from his collar. On his head rested Santa's hat fused with his hair, his lips were stained black with red gloss, his eyes shadowed deeper than ever before. Marilyn Manson picked up his old spine and whispered to it, the spine transformed itself into a boney Jackson Soloist with a sharpened edge. With every step Manson took small black embers resides, burning even the snow. Marilyn Manson placed his weapon above his shoulders and gagged up a cigar. It was time to truly end it all.

The frozen corpses guarded idly as a faint sound began to grow, getting closer and closer as they looked around wondering of its origin. Marilyn Manson pops up from under the snow, while _The Beautiful People_ blasted from the Heavens themselves. Manson decapitated three zombies with one guitar swing, he then lunged kicked into a fourth one and kabobed it with his 9 inch heels. The rest of the corpses began to surround Marilyn Manson, but he merely licked his lips and prepared to take them all on. One corpse lunged at Manson but Manson dodged his way behind the corpse and bit it's head off whole. Five other corpses began to sprint towards Manson, but Marilyn Manson merely began to spit out the previous corpse's teeth like bullets, killing each one. Another corpse tried for a sneak attack but Manson was too clever and grabbed the corpse and pulled it in for a french kiss. Marilyn Manson bit the corpse's tongue off and smashed its head in with the palm of his hands. The other corpses began to back away, but Marilyn Manson simply grinned and said "I think the fuck not, may Ozzy have mercy on your backsides." Manson grabbed one of the corpses and blew breath into it. The corpse began to fly and exploded in the air, causing it to rain blood. Corpse after corpse one after one, each dying a more horrific death after another, Marilyn Manson was pissed and was out for blood. He toyed with corpses, playing stairway to heaven one's rotting vocal chords, or summoning hell hounds to bite another groin off. It was December 24 11:34, The ground around the cathederal was stained red, the rotting smell forever casted into the air, all that was left was to free santa from his blood slavery, and truly cut off the Time Lesbian from life once and for all.

Marilyn Manson didn't even bother to open the Cathedral, he merely burned through the doors and at the altar, there she stood the Icy Time Lesbian. Marilyn Manson prepared his guitar and threw it straight at the Lesbian. The instrument burned through her hands and she cried as she fell to the ground. Manson quickly jumped on top of her back to reach the ceiling where Santa was suspended. Santa wasn't there though! The Time Lesbian chuckled and said looking for this? The Time Lesbian opened her chest open to reveal she had two beating hearts. With Santa's blood in her veins Manson knew he would never be able to kill her, he had to rip it out of her and soon. Manson stood tall and said "Time Lesbian even with two hearts youre still an icy bitch, get ready to repent for your sins." The Time Lesbian grew infuriated and merely froze the ground around Manson. Marilyn Manson countered by breathing fire and the two created a vacuum in the Cathedral ripping the roof off. Marily Manson hacked up a corpse skull and spit it towards the Time Lesbian, she blocked it but Manson's true intention was to distract her and reach for her chest. Just as Marilyn Manson grew his claws sharp to rip out her hearts, an ominous bell shook the air. The rapture had come, Marilyn Manson had failed.

The skies began to erupt, a thousand trumpets began to play through out the sky and human beings pure of heart began to ascend into Heaven. Jesus wasn't too happy, and the day of judgement was here. Though Marilyn Manson wasn't about to give up he still lunged for a heart and ripped it right out of her chest. It was the wrong heart, Manson felt it's cold began to grip the skin of his palms. The Time Lesbian let out a giant shreak as random ice spikes began to emerge from her body, Santa's heart was rejecting her. The Time Lesbian grew giant, her body covered in ice and wings of frost emerging from her back. The Time Lesbian fled into the Heavens and Marilyn Manson had to follow. He whistled with his finger, and from the ground emerged a slay full of 12 flaming reindeer. He boarded the slay and chased after her.

The Angel's of Heaven began to sing the song of Humanity's end, Marilyn Manson pursuited the Time Lesbian and Manson opened his mouth and attempted to shoot fireballs at the Time Lesbian. The Time Lesbian asorbed every attack her skin was thick and the atmosphere that surrounded her was heavy. Manson was running out of time, nothing was working and the fate of the world resided on him. Through the thick clouds a small sharp tear struck Manson's slay. It was a Nail, the very one used to crucify Jesus's feet. Manson quickly jumped onto his reindeer and made his way to the front one. Manson channeled all his gold energy and sprouted wings from his back. Manson shot like a bullet after the Time Witch and once he got close enough he pierced her heart. They both fell and descended into the ground. The Time Witch body began to completely freeze over as she attempted to speak, Manson looked at her and said "There ain't to rest for the wicked." With his guitar Manson decapitated her and her body burst turning into snow dust. Santa's heart laid there, still beating with a nail through it, Manson removed the nail and placed the heart on the ground.

The smell of peppermint and the pillsbury dough boys ass filled the air. A beam of light came from Santa's heart and with that Santa reformed. Santa looked at Manson and said "My boy, what day is it?" Manson replied "It's Christmas day." Santa looked around and saw the bodies of humans ascending into Heaven. Marilyn Manson looked away from Santa and said "It's too late I couldn't rescue you in time." Santa looked at Manson and let out a huge laugh and said "Ho Ho Ho there's still time to end all of this, Marilyn Manson with your music so raw, won't you help me tonight." Manson looked up in glee and simply said "Hell Yeah." Marilyn Manson whistled and called his flaming reindeer slay back. They both boarded and headed out to the world. Santa manifested gifts from his hand and quickly targeted it them to everyone's houses, breaking windows and mail boxes. When the Sinners left behind on Earth saw Santa they began to cheer. Marilyn Manson's account was unfrozen and his infinite money became accessible again. Santa and Manson traveled to Nazareth PA, to confront Jesus and reverse the Rapture. Jesus' house was glowing red, pure madness filled the air, but Santa and Manson busted through. Inside the House Jesus laid locked in gravity his Anger appeared untame. Manson pulled out his guitar and let out a let loud screech. Jesus suddenly stopped to look at Manson, and Marilyn Manson said "Let's do this right." Marilyn Manson raised his finger to the sky and summoned an entire band, he then manifested a microphone and said "Im Marilyn Manson and these are the spooky kids." The entire band began to play and the sweet music filled Jesus' ears. Suddenly Jesus' clothes turned back to normal, his skin was no longer pail and his hair was luscious, Marilyn Manson had taken his rage away.

Jesus had finally come to his senses, and he went to go hug Mary and Jesus said "Aw mom you're the best for booking Marilyn Manson." Mary hugged Jesus back and said "Ricorda di masticare sempre correttamente il dentifricio." Marilyn Manson looked at Jesus and said "Woah man what did she say." Jesus replied "I don't know man she's speaking spanish or something." Everyone in the room began to laugh together, all the raptured souls began to return to their normal lives and all appeared to be well. Marilyn Manson was about to walk out, going back to his life. Santa stopped Manson and said "My boy you've saved the world, with that I present you this." Santa handed Manson with a pin that read "Good boy forever." Manson eyes glowed, he swallowed his spit and told Santa with immense glee "Thanks." Marilyn Manson flew off into the night, Santa returned to the North Pole, and Jesus was happy for another year.

Chapter ?: I don't know you

"In the winds of the Cathedral, some say you can still hear a laughter, they say if you sit long enough you'll see the woman in white. Don't dare to stare at her for too long, for your soul will freeze, or so they say."

-Brittney Spears

**End Of Volume 1**

20


End file.
